another gem from John

Proverbs 28:1 "The wicked run when no one is chasing them, but an honest person is as brave as a lion." (GNT

john's famous quotes

when it's your turn it's your turn, when it aint it aint.....not my turn, not my problem... this is his philosophy on exes

Yelling at the Kids

This is a "parenting strategy" i hear about daily in my office.  Most know it is ineffective and leads to a negative atmosphere in the home.  I guess parents do know on some level that another person really cannot control another person even if there is a big age gap.  When adults lose their cool this is what I call "too much power for the kids to have."  The yelling actually reinforces the behavior in the child that the parent does not want.  As you gradually learn to be firm and clear with a quiet voice remember that trying to motivate by fear, yelling and punishment is not what you really want.  You want the teen to be motivated by a true inner desire to do right.  You want them to think, "Yes I want to come home by curfew because it is respectful and the right thing to do and I don't want my parents to worry because I care about their feelings".  Maybe the parent will even say to themselves, "I value calm interactive communication with my son so I will talk to him with the respect that I desire".  Try it out and let me know what you learn...

Surfing clinic

Saturday September 3rd 2011 in Ft. Pierce, FL.    surferrobin@bellsouth.net  

Be clear with your partner

I frequently hear from one member of a couple that the other "always" or "never" does this and that and that the relationship is doomed unless the other gets with the program.  Also, the distressed partner usually feels like they have "done everything" to get the other to see how they are feeling and what they want the other to change.  I find that people need to be more clear on what their needs are and on what request they are making of the other.  Our requests should be specific, doable and immediate.  What if you want the other to clean up their messes more?--do you want it every day, twice per week...?  What if you want your husband to listen more?  Try this:  "Honey would you please just sit and listen to me for five minutes without giving advice?"  Or maybe:  "Honey would you please put the credit card in this drawer and only use cash on a trial basis for one month?"

Both partners stand a much better chance of getting their needs met when they communicate specifically and calmly.  And don't forget,  you may need to spend time clarifying what your own needs are by talking to yourself!!

21 simple ways to quiet the mind from beliefnet

http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Emotional-Health/2010/05/21-Simple-Ways-to-Quiet-the-Mind.aspx