God helps marriages

Matthew 7:24-27

New International Version (NIV)

The Wise and Foolish Builders

²⁴ “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵ The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. ²⁶ But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.²⁷ The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash,

look at each other and say "you may not be perfect but you are a goodwilled Husband/Wife and I believe in you.  Lord help me to love, repsect and support my spouse with YOUR help and guidance and may I listen togod helps arriages you!" Amen

marriage helper

https://www.facebook.com/harvillehendrix?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser   

Let's talk

Lots and lots of times a couple will come in the office thinking that their partner has problems that need to be changed if the relationship is to improve.  Not infrequently the wife will say that she wishes her husband would talk with her more.  Emerson Eggerichs talks about this in his book  Love and Respect.  I like to laugh when I see patterns common to my marriage and to may others!  "Let's talk" have different meanings for men and women.  Often for women it means "let's get closer" while for men (my husband included) it means "uh oh here it comes".  When women try to get on the emotional track, men sometimes feel inept and, in response, defensive.  One of the most important things for a woman to understand is that his reluctance to talk doesn't mean that he doesn't care, is self-absorbed, etc.  Some have had success in scheduling short time limited talks.  I've had success in piling on the positive reinforcement when my husband stretches to try to talk!!!  I have noticed that backing off a bit and developing a different repertoire in my attempts at closeness has a big payoff.  I have learned lots of ways to soothe myself and let him be a man and figure things out on his own.

men may think..

Today I had a male client ask me "How could she have been begging me for attention and talking for eighteen years and I didn't hear her until it was too late...the silence in our house was deafening...now she is talking to someone else..."

  it made me think of what I was reading the other day---

" 'Good grief!  I had no idea what I was getting into when I married this sensitive creature' ...  (the husband) can close himself off and refuse to be open, or he can move toward her and connect with her at new levels of openness. " p 145

good advice for men in Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs