Passive aggressive behavior does not happen in a vacuum; it requires an adequate partner to play the game with. This interaction is created between two people-one person who resists proximity and responsibility and the other one who accepts too much frustration to feel a minimum of "love," "acceptance," or "company."
How this dynamics does get engraved in the little girl's mind? She learns this pattern in her childhood observing her parents, of course!
The need for a woman to choose and stay with a passive aggressive partner is a dynamic that is set up in her childhood. One parent withdraws and frustrates the other spouse who in turn becomes progressively more and more angry and resentful. When she grows up, the woman unconsciously chooses men who will play out the familiar patterns of withdrawal and attack of her childhood.
She falls for the man's charm, his sweet neediness and fast search for togetherness (he is talking about marriage in the first month of courtship) and ignores his real lack of connection with others. It would be easy to ask: "why he is not having any friends around him"? But it is too painful to reach a conclusion: that she is conditioned to search for people more damaged than she is, so she can "help them."
If the man's hostility and withdrawal behavioral cycle is left unchallenged, the woman begins to doubt herself. His failures become her failures, and she feels that she is not doing enough to make him happy. The harder she works on the relationship, the deeper is his need to escape and elude her.
Her life is in continual unbalance as she navigates the inconsistencies in daily connection events. As much as he feels threatened and insecure, he withdraws; this leaves her lonely so she gets angry.
The more she gets angry at him, he has to withdraw in his cave and the unresolved conflict boomerangs between then. They get locked into their own needs, not expressed enough, but acted upon. He will not show his anger at her persecution, but will do a lot of little vengeance acts which will drive her more crazy.
Living with the passive aggressive man pushes the woman into frustration and anger as the major dynamic in daily conflict. When she cannot get her needs met, she becomes the person who can blame him with intensity or have an anger attack, which then makes the man confirm his worst fears and feel very insecure in the relationship.
She rides an emotional roller coaster as she is always stuck hoping for more from her man--more commitment, more cooperation, more attention and love, and more doing what he says he will do -- as a signal that he really loves her.
With continuous cycles of this dynamics, her self-esteem erodes more and more as her frustration and anger turn to rage; getting to feel lonelier and more abandoned than when she was a single person.
To avoid repeating the choosing of passive aggressive men in several successive relationships in her future, she needs to learn a better way of reacting to his passive aggression in a way that teaches him what does she need, and what the limits for his procrastination and sabotaging are.
In short, she needs to remember that she is now a grown up person and can limit the damage other people can do to her in several active ways, from saying STOP!, to setting her own limits and or walking out.
Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. If you are interested in learning how to live a better life, clean of hidden aggression, full of support and caring ideas? We are waiting you at http://passiveaggressivehusband.com, where you can find your FREE ebook: "How healthy is your marriage?"
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nora_Femenia,_Ph.D.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
fun and easy mindfulness exercises
http://www.meditation-techniques-for-happiness.com/free-online-meditation.html
Elisha Goldstein has great mindfulness tapes and blog
Well, it’s not Monday, but I was just reading a book by Ariane de Bonvoisin called The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier
(interview with Ariane to come … stay tuned) which has a number of fantastic quotes in it that I believe if reflected on mindfully could very well change your life.Now, we’re not just going to glance over these quotes, I’m going to suggest that you take at least 30 seconds with each quote doing the following 5-step mindfulness practice.
- Get centered — Take a moment to just notice your body here, noticing any tension and seeing if you can choose to let that tension go. Become aware that you’re breathing.
- Read the quote twice – Reading it twice allows it to settle in a bit more.
- Allow the words to simmer — Close your eyes and see if you can let the words roll around and notice what arises for you physically, emotionally and mentally. In other words, let these words percolate in your mind and body. Do any thoughts, memories, or associations arise? Is there a tension or loosening in the body? Do emotions of fear, joy, or calm arise? Whatever arises this is grist for the mill.
- Bring your mind back if it wanders — You may notice the mind going off into thoughts of what you need to be doing or judgments such as “how is this going to be helpful to me?” Just note where it wandered to and gently guide it back. As Larry Rosenberg says in his book Breath by Breath,
repeat this step several billion times.
- Come back to the breath – Thank yourself for taking this time-out of your daily busy-ness to engage with this mindful inquiry for your health and well-being.
Here we go.
- “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” ~ Victor Frankl
- “Amidst the worldly comings and goings, observe how endings become beginnings.” ~ Tao Te Ching
- “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” ~ Albert Einstein
- “You see everything is about belief, whatever we believe rules our existence, rules our life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
- “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hence, there is a time to go ahead and a time to stay behind.What did you notice as you did this practice? Are there other quotes that are meaningful to you or you think would be valuable for this practice? Share any thoughts, stories and questions you have. Your interaction creates a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.
There is a time to breathe easy and a time to breathe hard.
There is a time to be vigorous and a time to be gentle.
There is a time to gather and a time to release.
Can you see things as they are
And let them be all on their own?
~ Lao-tzu
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
mindfulness/radical acceptance
And while we can’t agree to everything in life, the following exercise taken from Tara Brach’s book Radical Acceptance may help illustrate the effects of saying yes to our emotions:

“Sitting quietly, close your eyes and take a few full breaths. Bring to mind a current situation that elicits a reaction of anger, fear, or grief…The more fully you get in touch with the charged essence of the story, the more readily you can access the feelings in your heart and throughout your body. What is it about the situation that provokes the strongest feelings?..Be especially aware of the feelings in your stomach, chest and throat.
In order to see firsthand what happens when you resist experience, begin by experimenting with saying no. As you connect with the pain you feel in the situation you have chosen, mentally direct a stream of no at the feelings. No to unpleasantness of fear, anger, shame or grief. Let the word carry the energy of no – rejecting, pushing away what you are experiencing. As you say no, notice what this resistance feels like in your body. Do you feel tightness, pressure? What happens to the painful feelings as you say no? What happens in your heart? Imagine what your life would be like if, for the next hours, weeks and months, you continued to move through the world with the thoughts and feelings of no.
Take a few deep breaths and let go by relaxing through the body, opening your eyes or shifting your posture a bit. Now take a few moments to call to mind again the painful situation you’d previously chosen, remembering the images, words, beliefs and feelings connected with it. This time let yourself be the Buddha under the bodhi tree, the Buddha inviting Mara to tea. Direct a stream of the word yes at your experience. Agree to the experience with yes. Let the feelings float, held in the environment of yes. Even if these are waves of no – fear or anger that arise with the painful situation or even from doing this exercise – that’s okay. Let these natural reactions be received in the larger field of yes. Yes to the pain. Yes to the parts of us that want the pain to go away. Yes to whatever the thoughts or feelings arise. Notice your experience as you say yes. Is there softening, opening and movement in your body? Is there more space and openness in your mind?…
Continue to sit now, releasing thoughts and resting in an alert, relaxes awareness. Let your intention be to say a gentle YES to whatever sensations, emotions, sounds or images may arise in your awareness.”* taken from NICABM

“Sitting quietly, close your eyes and take a few full breaths. Bring to mind a current situation that elicits a reaction of anger, fear, or grief…The more fully you get in touch with the charged essence of the story, the more readily you can access the feelings in your heart and throughout your body. What is it about the situation that provokes the strongest feelings?..Be especially aware of the feelings in your stomach, chest and throat.
In order to see firsthand what happens when you resist experience, begin by experimenting with saying no. As you connect with the pain you feel in the situation you have chosen, mentally direct a stream of no at the feelings. No to unpleasantness of fear, anger, shame or grief. Let the word carry the energy of no – rejecting, pushing away what you are experiencing. As you say no, notice what this resistance feels like in your body. Do you feel tightness, pressure? What happens to the painful feelings as you say no? What happens in your heart? Imagine what your life would be like if, for the next hours, weeks and months, you continued to move through the world with the thoughts and feelings of no.
Take a few deep breaths and let go by relaxing through the body, opening your eyes or shifting your posture a bit. Now take a few moments to call to mind again the painful situation you’d previously chosen, remembering the images, words, beliefs and feelings connected with it. This time let yourself be the Buddha under the bodhi tree, the Buddha inviting Mara to tea. Direct a stream of the word yes at your experience. Agree to the experience with yes. Let the feelings float, held in the environment of yes. Even if these are waves of no – fear or anger that arise with the painful situation or even from doing this exercise – that’s okay. Let these natural reactions be received in the larger field of yes. Yes to the pain. Yes to the parts of us that want the pain to go away. Yes to whatever the thoughts or feelings arise. Notice your experience as you say yes. Is there softening, opening and movement in your body? Is there more space and openness in your mind?…
Continue to sit now, releasing thoughts and resting in an alert, relaxes awareness. Let your intention be to say a gentle YES to whatever sensations, emotions, sounds or images may arise in your awareness.”* taken from NICABM
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters. Reprinted from Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters. Reprinted from Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Saturday, October 2, 2010
eleuthera
Great Eleuthera Video
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Check out this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMEBAkzgLmA
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Check out this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMEBAkzgLmA
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
When love beckons to you, follow him
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind
lays waste to the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he
is for your growth so he is for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest
branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their
clinging to the earth.
From The Prophet by Kahil Gibran
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind
lays waste to the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he
is for your growth so he is for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest
branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their
clinging to the earth.
From The Prophet by Kahil Gibran
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Surf Lessons continue with new board
Hey - just got a new board to teach on! It is a 9 ft soft surfboard and lots of fun-I rode it today! Getting ready to do a class for abused children and teens.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that something deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."e.e. cummings
Thursday, April 1, 2010
mindfulness and attention
ScienceDaily (May 10, 2007) — Everyday experience and psychology research both indicate that paying close attention to one thing can keep you from noticing something else.
However, a new study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison suggests that attention does not have a fixed capacity - and that it can be improved by directed mental training, such as meditation.
Seeing and mentally processing something takes time and effort, says psychology and psychiatry professor Richard Davidson of the UW-Madison School of Medicine and Public Health and the Waisman Center. Because a person has a finite amount of brainpower, paying close attention to one thing may mean the tradeoff of missing something that follows shortly thereafter. For example, when two visual signals are shown a half-second apart, people miss the second one much of the time.
"The attention momentarily goes off-line," Davidson says. "Your attention gets stuck on the first target, then you miss the second one." This effect is called "attentional blink," as when you blink your eyes, you are briefly unaware of visual signals.
But, he adds, the ability to occasionally catch the second signal suggests that this limitation is not strictly physical, but that it may be subject to some type of mental control.
Led by postdoctoral fellow Heleen Slagter, Davidson's research group in the Waisman Laboratory for Brain Imaging and Behavior recruited subjects interested in meditation to study whether conscious mental training can affect attention. "Meditation is a family of methods designed to facilitate regulation of emotion and attention," says Davidson.
The new study, which appears online May 8 in the journal PLoS Biology, examined the effects of three months of intensive training in Vipassana meditation, which focuses on reducing mental distraction and improving sensory awareness.
Volunteers were asked to look for target numbers that were mixed into a series of distracting letters and quickly flashed on a screen. As subjects performed the task, their brain activity was recorded with electrodes placed on the scalp. In some cases, two target numbers appeared in the series less than one-half second apart - close enough to fall within the typical attentional blink window.
The research group found that three months of rigorous training in Vipassana meditation improved people's ability to detect a second target within the half-second time window. In addition, though the ability to see the first target did not change, the mental training reduced the amount of brain activity associated with seeing the first target. "The decrease [of brain activity associated with the first target] strongly predicted the accuracy of their ability to detect the second target," Davidson says.
The results of the study show that devoting fewer neural resources to the first target leaves enough left over to attend to another target that follows shortly after it, he says.
Because the subjects were not meditating during the test, their improvement suggests that prior training can cause lasting changes in how people allocate their mental resources. "Their previous practice of meditation is influencing their performance on this task," Davidson says. "The conventional view is that attentional resources are limited. This shows that attention capabilities can be enhanced through learning."
The finding that attention is a flexible skill opens up many possibilities, says Davidson. For example, he suggests, "Attention training is worth examining for disorders with attentional components, like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder."
However, a new study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison suggests that attention does not have a fixed capacity - and that it can be improved by directed mental training, such as meditation.
Seeing and mentally processing something takes time and effort, says psychology and psychiatry professor Richard Davidson of the UW-Madison School of Medicine and Public Health and the Waisman Center. Because a person has a finite amount of brainpower, paying close attention to one thing may mean the tradeoff of missing something that follows shortly thereafter. For example, when two visual signals are shown a half-second apart, people miss the second one much of the time.
"The attention momentarily goes off-line," Davidson says. "Your attention gets stuck on the first target, then you miss the second one." This effect is called "attentional blink," as when you blink your eyes, you are briefly unaware of visual signals.
But, he adds, the ability to occasionally catch the second signal suggests that this limitation is not strictly physical, but that it may be subject to some type of mental control.
Led by postdoctoral fellow Heleen Slagter, Davidson's research group in the Waisman Laboratory for Brain Imaging and Behavior recruited subjects interested in meditation to study whether conscious mental training can affect attention. "Meditation is a family of methods designed to facilitate regulation of emotion and attention," says Davidson.
The new study, which appears online May 8 in the journal PLoS Biology, examined the effects of three months of intensive training in Vipassana meditation, which focuses on reducing mental distraction and improving sensory awareness.
Volunteers were asked to look for target numbers that were mixed into a series of distracting letters and quickly flashed on a screen. As subjects performed the task, their brain activity was recorded with electrodes placed on the scalp. In some cases, two target numbers appeared in the series less than one-half second apart - close enough to fall within the typical attentional blink window.
The research group found that three months of rigorous training in Vipassana meditation improved people's ability to detect a second target within the half-second time window. In addition, though the ability to see the first target did not change, the mental training reduced the amount of brain activity associated with seeing the first target. "The decrease [of brain activity associated with the first target] strongly predicted the accuracy of their ability to detect the second target," Davidson says.
The results of the study show that devoting fewer neural resources to the first target leaves enough left over to attend to another target that follows shortly after it, he says.
Because the subjects were not meditating during the test, their improvement suggests that prior training can cause lasting changes in how people allocate their mental resources. "Their previous practice of meditation is influencing their performance on this task," Davidson says. "The conventional view is that attentional resources are limited. This shows that attention capabilities can be enhanced through learning."
The finding that attention is a flexible skill opens up many possibilities, says Davidson. For example, he suggests, "Attention training is worth examining for disorders with attentional components, like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder."
mindfulness from wikipedia
Examples from contemplative and daily life
Paying close attention to the present experience - the beginning of Mindfulness practice
Buddhists hold that over 2500 years ago, Buddha provided guidance on establishing mindfulness. Right mindfulness (often termed Right meditation) involves bringing one's awareness to focus on experience within the mind at the present moment (from the past, the future, or some disconnected train of thought). By paying close attention to the present experience, practitioners begin to see both inner and outer aspects of reality as aspects of the mind. Internally, one sees that the mind is continually full of chattering with commentary or judgement. By noticing that the mind is continually making commentary, one has the ability to carefully observe those thoughts, seeing them for what they are without aversion or judgment. Those practicing mindfulness realize that "thoughts are just thoughts." One is free to release a thought ("let it go") when one realizes that the thought may not be concrete reality or absolute truth. Thus, one is free to observe life without getting caught in the commentary. Many "voices" or messages may speak to one within the "vocal" (discursive) mind. It is important to be aware that the messages one hears during "thinking" are simply discursive habit and that the real point of practice is distinguishing different types of experience from the context (mind) within which they occur.
As one more closely observes mental activity, one finds that happiness (for example) is not exclusively a quality brought about by a change in outer circumstances, but rather that realizing happiness often starts with loosening and releasing attachment to thoughts, predispositions, and "scripts"; thereby releasing "automatic" reactions toward what seem to be pleasant and unpleasant situations or feelings. However, mindfulness does not have to be constrained to a formal meditation session. Mindfulness is an activity that can be done at any time; it does not require sitting, or focusing on the breath, but rather simply realizing what is happening in the present moment is mental content, including simply noticing the mind's usual "commentary". One can be mindful of the sensations in one's feet while walking, of the sound of the wind in the trees, or the feeling of soapy water while doing dishes. One can also be mindful of the mind's commentary: "I wish I didn't have to walk any further, I like the sound of the leaves rustling, I wish washing dishes weren't so boring and the soap weren't drying out my skin", etc. Once we identify experience as mental content, we have the freedom to cease identification with any judgments/perceptions: "washing dishes: boring" may become "The warm water is in unison with the detergent and is currently washing away the plate's grime, the sun is shining through the window and casting an ever greater shadow on the dish's white ceramics." In this example, one may see that washing does not have to be judged "boring"; washing dishes is only a process of coordinating dishes with soap and water. Any activity done mindfully is a form of meditation, and mindfulness is possible practically all the time.
[edit] Continuous mindfulness practice
In addition to various forms of meditation based around specific sessions, there are mindfulness training exercises that develop awareness throughout the day using designated environmental cues. The aim is to make mindfulness essentially continuous. Examples of such cues are the hourly chimes of clocks, red lights at traffic junctions and crossing the threshold of doors. The mindfulness itself can take the form of nothing more than taking three successive breaths while remembering they are a conscious experience of body activity within mind[14]. This approach is particularly helpful when it is difficult to establish a regular meditation practice.
Paying close attention to the present experience - the beginning of Mindfulness practice
Buddhists hold that over 2500 years ago, Buddha provided guidance on establishing mindfulness. Right mindfulness (often termed Right meditation) involves bringing one's awareness to focus on experience within the mind at the present moment (from the past, the future, or some disconnected train of thought). By paying close attention to the present experience, practitioners begin to see both inner and outer aspects of reality as aspects of the mind. Internally, one sees that the mind is continually full of chattering with commentary or judgement. By noticing that the mind is continually making commentary, one has the ability to carefully observe those thoughts, seeing them for what they are without aversion or judgment. Those practicing mindfulness realize that "thoughts are just thoughts." One is free to release a thought ("let it go") when one realizes that the thought may not be concrete reality or absolute truth. Thus, one is free to observe life without getting caught in the commentary. Many "voices" or messages may speak to one within the "vocal" (discursive) mind. It is important to be aware that the messages one hears during "thinking" are simply discursive habit and that the real point of practice is distinguishing different types of experience from the context (mind) within which they occur.
As one more closely observes mental activity, one finds that happiness (for example) is not exclusively a quality brought about by a change in outer circumstances, but rather that realizing happiness often starts with loosening and releasing attachment to thoughts, predispositions, and "scripts"; thereby releasing "automatic" reactions toward what seem to be pleasant and unpleasant situations or feelings. However, mindfulness does not have to be constrained to a formal meditation session. Mindfulness is an activity that can be done at any time; it does not require sitting, or focusing on the breath, but rather simply realizing what is happening in the present moment is mental content, including simply noticing the mind's usual "commentary". One can be mindful of the sensations in one's feet while walking, of the sound of the wind in the trees, or the feeling of soapy water while doing dishes. One can also be mindful of the mind's commentary: "I wish I didn't have to walk any further, I like the sound of the leaves rustling, I wish washing dishes weren't so boring and the soap weren't drying out my skin", etc. Once we identify experience as mental content, we have the freedom to cease identification with any judgments/perceptions: "washing dishes: boring" may become "The warm water is in unison with the detergent and is currently washing away the plate's grime, the sun is shining through the window and casting an ever greater shadow on the dish's white ceramics." In this example, one may see that washing does not have to be judged "boring"; washing dishes is only a process of coordinating dishes with soap and water. Any activity done mindfully is a form of meditation, and mindfulness is possible practically all the time.
[edit] Continuous mindfulness practice
In addition to various forms of meditation based around specific sessions, there are mindfulness training exercises that develop awareness throughout the day using designated environmental cues. The aim is to make mindfulness essentially continuous. Examples of such cues are the hourly chimes of clocks, red lights at traffic junctions and crossing the threshold of doors. The mindfulness itself can take the form of nothing more than taking three successive breaths while remembering they are a conscious experience of body activity within mind[14]. This approach is particularly helpful when it is difficult to establish a regular meditation practice.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Check out the blog for the full story http://blog.livelutra.com/ This is the best blog to give ya a taste of the island life!!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Pine trees before Easter
Subject: Pine Trees before Easter
THE PINE TREES KNOW WHEN IT'S EASTER
This is neat. I have never heard this but I will begin to watch closely as Easter nears.
http://wandascountryhome.com/pinetrees/index
THE PINE TREES KNOW WHEN IT'S EASTER
This is neat. I have never heard this but I will begin to watch closely as Easter nears.
http://wandascountryhome.com/pinetrees/index
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Challenges of Love
Use the challenges to grow in your family relationships. Follow the practices below to release yourself from your "blind spots" so that, in giving your family member what he/she needs most, you will actually grow in meeting your own needs!
1. Write down the purpose of your relationship
2. Make sure your automatic reactions are loving instead of fear-based (What would love say in this situation?)
3. Agree ahead of time on strategies to use in predictable times of communication breakdown
4. Avoid winner/loser thinking and, instead communicate in ways that the relationship is the winner (watch out for the need for power or need to be "right"
5. Express yourself with truth and listen when the other does the same (without judging) even if you don't agree-try to reflect back to them what you hear
6. Avoid blame and accept responsibility for your own words and actions
7. Ask for what you need and don't expect the other to guess
8. See every problem as an opportunity to grow and learn
9. Schedule time together when problems are not discussed
10. Find a spiritual way to connect such as through prayer
11. Learn to listen without giving advice
12. Set aside time each day to talk
13. Ask one good question a week such as "What one thing would you like to do over?"
14. Try a new adventure
15. DEal with an issue you have been avoiding using # 3,4 and 5 above
16. Aim for a ration of 5 to 1 in positive v negative words
17. Notice and capture the small moments-you'll be surprised what is meaningful
18. Give the other silent blessings throughout the day, unplug the tv, live as if you only had 6 more months, discuss a reading or passage that gives you hope, live with zeal
1. Write down the purpose of your relationship
2. Make sure your automatic reactions are loving instead of fear-based (What would love say in this situation?)
3. Agree ahead of time on strategies to use in predictable times of communication breakdown
4. Avoid winner/loser thinking and, instead communicate in ways that the relationship is the winner (watch out for the need for power or need to be "right"
5. Express yourself with truth and listen when the other does the same (without judging) even if you don't agree-try to reflect back to them what you hear
6. Avoid blame and accept responsibility for your own words and actions
7. Ask for what you need and don't expect the other to guess
8. See every problem as an opportunity to grow and learn
9. Schedule time together when problems are not discussed
10. Find a spiritual way to connect such as through prayer
11. Learn to listen without giving advice
12. Set aside time each day to talk
13. Ask one good question a week such as "What one thing would you like to do over?"
14. Try a new adventure
15. DEal with an issue you have been avoiding using # 3,4 and 5 above
16. Aim for a ration of 5 to 1 in positive v negative words
17. Notice and capture the small moments-you'll be surprised what is meaningful
18. Give the other silent blessings throughout the day, unplug the tv, live as if you only had 6 more months, discuss a reading or passage that gives you hope, live with zeal
the decks and view from Therapeia
.jpg)
There is no better view for "soft eyes" while practicing mindfulness meditation after a day of surfing on the east side. Whether on the top deck or lower deck, relaxing while watching the sunset and moonset is always therapeutic.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)