Saturday, February 27, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Challenges of Love
Use the challenges to grow in your family relationships. Follow the practices below to release yourself from your "blind spots" so that, in giving your family member what he/she needs most, you will actually grow in meeting your own needs!
1. Write down the purpose of your relationship
2. Make sure your automatic reactions are loving instead of fear-based (What would love say in this situation?)
3. Agree ahead of time on strategies to use in predictable times of communication breakdown
4. Avoid winner/loser thinking and, instead communicate in ways that the relationship is the winner (watch out for the need for power or need to be "right"
5. Express yourself with truth and listen when the other does the same (without judging) even if you don't agree-try to reflect back to them what you hear
6. Avoid blame and accept responsibility for your own words and actions
7. Ask for what you need and don't expect the other to guess
8. See every problem as an opportunity to grow and learn
9. Schedule time together when problems are not discussed
10. Find a spiritual way to connect such as through prayer
11. Learn to listen without giving advice
12. Set aside time each day to talk
13. Ask one good question a week such as "What one thing would you like to do over?"
14. Try a new adventure
15. DEal with an issue you have been avoiding using # 3,4 and 5 above
16. Aim for a ration of 5 to 1 in positive v negative words
17. Notice and capture the small moments-you'll be surprised what is meaningful
18. Give the other silent blessings throughout the day, unplug the tv, live as if you only had 6 more months, discuss a reading or passage that gives you hope, live with zeal
1. Write down the purpose of your relationship
2. Make sure your automatic reactions are loving instead of fear-based (What would love say in this situation?)
3. Agree ahead of time on strategies to use in predictable times of communication breakdown
4. Avoid winner/loser thinking and, instead communicate in ways that the relationship is the winner (watch out for the need for power or need to be "right"
5. Express yourself with truth and listen when the other does the same (without judging) even if you don't agree-try to reflect back to them what you hear
6. Avoid blame and accept responsibility for your own words and actions
7. Ask for what you need and don't expect the other to guess
8. See every problem as an opportunity to grow and learn
9. Schedule time together when problems are not discussed
10. Find a spiritual way to connect such as through prayer
11. Learn to listen without giving advice
12. Set aside time each day to talk
13. Ask one good question a week such as "What one thing would you like to do over?"
14. Try a new adventure
15. DEal with an issue you have been avoiding using # 3,4 and 5 above
16. Aim for a ration of 5 to 1 in positive v negative words
17. Notice and capture the small moments-you'll be surprised what is meaningful
18. Give the other silent blessings throughout the day, unplug the tv, live as if you only had 6 more months, discuss a reading or passage that gives you hope, live with zeal
the decks and view from Therapeia
.jpg)
There is no better view for "soft eyes" while practicing mindfulness meditation after a day of surfing on the east side. Whether on the top deck or lower deck, relaxing while watching the sunset and moonset is always therapeutic.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)